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Are You Ready to Move on in Matters of Love?


Lifestyle Improvement

Posted On: Feb 24, 2017

Are You Ready to Move on in Matters of Love?

The prospect of moving on after losing your partner is terrifying, heartbreaking, and not at all at the top of your radar. The odds are good, however, that this will happen. It may not occur for months, years, or even decades in some cases, or perhaps you'll feel ready to move on somewhat quickly. Even if you can't envision it right at this moment, it's human nature to crave comfort and stave off loneliness, and that's okay. Whether you're ready now or simply realize that you will be someday, there are a few things to consider before finding a new partner.

There's No Right or Wrong Time to Move On

Only you know when you're ready. Only you know when you've progressed far enough in the grieving process that your wounds aren't raw. Grieving takes no set amount of time; there are only estimates and averages. Bearing that in mind, don't feel like you're a bad person if you find yourself falling for someone or missing companionship soon after the loss of your lover or spouse. You're the only person who knows how you feel. Be true to that, to yourself, and to your feelings. No one else is living your life, after all.

Everyone Will Have an Opinion

Friends, parents, children, siblings, aunts and uncles, coworkers, the people at church, the gym, or the book club—everyone will have something to say about your choice and your readiness to find love again. Take all them with a grain of salt. Obviously, there are people whose opinions matter, but those people are likely also willing to listen to how you feel. To the people who aren't your nearest and dearest, well, you're not obligated to listen to everyone's opinions.

Don't Try to Replace What You've Lost

Move on because you're ready, not because you're seeking a replacement. No one will ever replace your spouse or partner. Whether you were together for five months, five years, or fifty of them, it hurts to lose someone you love. You can't pick someone new just because they remind you of the person you lost. That's not fair to either of you, and it won't soothe your grief.

It might help to talk to someone before you throw yourself back into the dating game, however. You should also realize that you might feel ready, but the reality of dating may convince you otherwise. It's okay if you still need to wait.