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Avoid Your Vices as You Process Your Grief


Bereavement Relief

Posted On: Jan 16, 2017

Avoid Your Vices as You Process Your Grief

Grieving is hard. When you miss someone so much that it physically aches, you want more than anything to numb the pain. Sometimes, that involves self-destructive behavior. Turning to vices such as alcohol or drugs may seem like it's helping you deal with your sadness, but it makes everything worse. You won't realize it right away, but eventually, it will become painfully apparent. This isn't a judgment or a preaching session, but a hard-learned piece of advice that will keep you from hurting more deeply further down the road.

Numbing the Pain Doesn't Make It Go Away

It's still there. Until you deal with it, it's always there. You cannot get over your grief by numbing yourself. Once that numbness wears off, you're in trouble. Your nerve endings are raw and exposed by that point. Your psyche is vulnerable. Your pain will steamroll over you when you least expect it. As a result, the grieving process starts over from the beginning, and all memories and pinpricks of pain are as fresh as they were the first time.

You Have to Feel Pain to Get Over It

There's no shortcut. You can't sleep through it. You can't drink your way through it. You can't fight your way through it. You simply have to feel it. If you don't, it will chase you for the rest of your life. You don't want to spend your days running from something. Grieving is scary because there's an end – acceptance – but you have to reach the end. You must.

Unprocessed Grief Infects Your Entire Life

It pops up at the most unexpected times in the most surprising places. It infects aspects of your life that you never believed it would affect. It doesn't matter whom you lose. You have to deal with your feelings. There's not a bottle in the world deep enough to keep you safe from the repercussions of bereavement that's never allowed to unfold.

Don't try to bury your grief. Don't drown your feelings. They never leave you, not until you cope with them.