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Getting Through More than One Loss at a Time

Category: 

Bereavement Relief

Posted On: Feb 24, 2017

Getting Through More than One Loss at a Time

Losing more than one person at once is a nightmare. News that someone you love is dead is horrifying by itself. Realizing that suddenly a portion of your family is no longer of this world, that is absolutely crushing. It's even more devastating to learn that you've basically lost your entire family. It might happen because of an accident, or the incidents might happen separately—it's impossible to quantify which is worse. This is a unique and horrible situation, filled with pain, fear, regret, and anger. It feels like you will never get through it, like the sadness will ultimately smother you. Please know that you are not alone and that there is support available even when your world is at its bleakest point.

Cover Yourself with Support

You've lost an enormous, vital part of your world. It feels like you have no one left. You do have people. They aren't the people you want, but that's understandable. Still, even if you call upon friends, members of the family you've created yourself, extended relatives, you need to surround yourself with love, compassion, support, and positivity. You should not be alone right now, at least not all the time. You need help. You need other people.

Be as Angry as You Need

Anger is a justifiable and normal reaction following the death of any loved one. Losing more than one gives cause for a large well of anger. Be angry. Don't express it in ways that are self-destructive or dangerous to yourself or others, but vent as much as you need to, even if it means screaming at the sky. You have every right to feel this anger. What happened to you is devastating. What happened to your family is tragic.

Never Rush Your Grief

You don't have to grieve your loved ones concurrently, nor do you have to grieve them consecutively. It's better not to put any boundaries on your bereavement. You're mourning multiple people. Don't spend your energy worrying about how long you're going to feel sad or when you should start trying to get over your grief. Let it progress as naturally as possible.

No one ever dreams this will happen, but it's the darkest nightmare for anyone who goes through it. It's a blow that you feel like you can't recover from because it's so profound and all-encompassing. Ask for help. Accept love. You will heal, but the process will hurt.