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Getting Through the First Mother's Day without Your Mom

Category: 

Lifestyle Improvement

Posted On: Mar 10, 2017

Getting Through the First Mother's Day without Your Mom

This is a rough one, particularly if you were close to your mom. A day that once meant celebrating the unconditional love, wisdom, and friendship given by your mother is now empty, devoid of any feeling beyond deep-seated sadness. They say it's easier to cope with if and when you have children, but even when you're the mother being honored on the day, there's still a void there, a distinct loss. The first Mother's Day is the worst. The loss still stings, your heart still aches, and the sentiment of the holiday is likely to rip open the scabs of your emotional wounds. As deeply as it hurts, you will get through this.

Plan Ahead but Be Realistic

Make plans for yourself well ahead of the day, and do it wisely. For example, avoid any activities centered around mothers celebrating the day. Spend the day doing things that calm you, heal you, and soothe you, but you might want to steer clear of the spa, for instance. You also have to realize that no matter how much you plan, no matter how busy you make yourself, no matter how distracted you are, you'll still experience grief, nostalgia, regret, and a whole host of other emotions.

Take Care of Yourself

Practically speaking, you need to look after yourself on your first Mother's Day without your mom. Grieving is exhausting in and of itself, especially when it's at a high peak. The loss you feel on this day dedicated to mothers can take you to your knees with its intensity. You'll end up drained—spiritually, physically, and emotionally. So, although this advice sounds mundane, it's essential. Stay hydrated. Eat nutritious comfort foods. Rest, but don't turn to sleep as an escape. Do something kind for yourself.

Visit Your Mom

Wherever you laid your mother to rest, visit her. Take her favorite flowers to the cemetery and spend some time at her grave. If you have her physical remains, such as her ashes or a memorial made from them, you can visit with that instead, or even take her remains to a place that meant something to the two of you. You don't need anything to “visit” your mom, however. Spend the day doing things she loved or pursuing activities you enjoyed doing together.

It's also helpful to surround yourself with loved ones, but only if that feels right. You might prefer to spend the day alone with your memories of your mother.