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Getting Through the Worst Day of Your Bereavement

Category: 

Grieving Process

Posted On: Feb 09, 2017

Getting Through the Worst Day of Your Bereavement

As you move along through the process of grieving, trying to put your life back to rights now that a piece of it isn't there anymore, every day feels like the worst day. In the course of every bereavement, however, each mourner experiences one day that's worse than all the others. The pain hits you just as deeply as it did in the first few days prior to your loss, you think you'll never experience happiness again, and the lethargy of grief overtakes you to such an extent that you aren't even sure how you can go on after this. There's no telling which day will dawn as the hardest to get through—it might happen two days after losing your loved one, two weeks, or even two months. Keep breathing. Preparing yourself is the best thing you can do.

Surround Yourself with Support

This is the one day you need as much support as possible. Turn to your partner or spouse, your best friend, your parent(s), a close relative, your children – keep your nearest and dearest close to you. Even if you need time to yourself, as well, you'll have your support network on standby, ready to step in and comfort or distract you at a moment's notice. Don't try to go through this alone. Grief carries an element of depression, and depression is potentially devastating when you reach your lowest point. Don't let pride or ego stand in the way of asking for help.

Don't Act Like It's a Normal Day

You can't spend the whole day in your bed or refuse to leave the house, but you may feel distracted, emotional, or extremely low. There are things you won't want to do, not to mention things you simply can't do. If you need to take a mental health day from work, do it. Postpone activities that you just can't face. Let the necessary people know, of course – talk to someone at work or let friends know about canceled plans. However, if you can't bring yourself to talk about why you need to take a day or reschedule an event, don't force yourself to do it. Explain that you're dealing with something personal and elaborate when – or if – you choose.

Indulge in the Activity that Soothes You the Most

What calms you? What centers you? No matter how indulgent you feel it is, today is the perfect day to do it. Don't worry about what else you could spend time doing. Don't think of this as wasted time. Do something that brings you joy and peace.

How you deal with your memories is entirely up to you. Depending on how you feel, you may want to avoid things that remind you of your lost loved one. On the other hand, you might want to surround yourself with pictures and mementos or visit your loved one's resting place.