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How to Love Someone Unconditionally


Loving & Caring Thoughts

Posted On: Feb 16, 2016

How to Love Someone Unconditionally

How do you fall in love? It’s next to impossible to do intentionally—most people just describe falling in love as something that happens without their control. If it were possible to “decide” to love someone, the world might have a lot fewer broken hearts. (Or perhaps it wouldn’t—it’s difficult to say.) So while it might be impossible to tell someone how to fall in love, it is worth exploring how you can take the love you already have and work toward loving someone unconditionally.

Falling in love is largely up to chance. You need to meet the right person at the right time in your life and you more or less need to be “ready” to fall in love. There are chemical and hormonal factors involved as well. But moving from just “love” to “unconditional love” might be largely up to us. You might not be able to teach yourself how to fall in love, but it is possible to teach yourself how to be more forgiving and empathetic.

It’s important to note that unconditional love probably doesn’t happen at the same time we fall in love with someone. Sure, you’re likely to overlook someone’s flaws when you are first getting to know them, but that isn’t the same as loving someone unconditionally. Many people would call overlooking someone’s flaws during an early part of the relationship as being “blinded” by love. This means you are so infatuated with someone that you’ll forgive just about anything to keep this newfound feeling. Unconditional love is also something that is best done reciprocally, as well. Finding excuses to stay with someone who hurts you or even abuses you isn’t loving someone unconditionally. Someone else’s flaws which seriously endanger your wellbeing are best forgiven from a distance.

Instead, love that comes without conditions is a kind of love recognizes that nothing comes before that love. Unconditional love means that you don’t require someone to act a certain way to give them love and vice versa. Unconditional love takes effort, because you need to respond to disappointments you may have about someone else with nothing but love. If the other person falls, no matter how frustrated it may make you, you must respond with love and support to help pick them up. This action is much easier if you know that the other person would do the same for you when you stumble.

Unconditional love is also much easier when you love yourself unconditionally. Forgiving yourself for your own flaws and finding ways to rise above them is the first (if sometimes challenging) step to loving someone else unconditionally. When you learn how to forgive yourself, you find out how valuable that ability is and you are willing and able to share it with someone else.

When faced with a choice that stems from a frustration you have with your partner, ask yourself: what is the most loving thing I can do here? When you go with the loving choice, you’re loving someone unconditionally.