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Losing Your Best Friend Is the Loss that Keeps on Giving

Category: 

Grieving Process

Posted On: Apr 07, 2017

Losing Your Best Friend Is the Loss that Keeps on Giving

Every death that touches your life is painful. You will never walk away unscathed after someone you love dies. That being said, the relationship you have with the deceased affects the level and duration of your grief. While it's devastating to get past the death of a parent, a child, or a lover, it's sometimes even harder to mourn the loss of a best friend. That's because this loss is multi-faceted and far-reaching. You rely on your best friend for so much that the loss just keeps coming. It never seems to stop, and worst, you never know when the memories will hit you.

Picking Up the Phone

After losing your best friend, you may find yourself forgetting that s/he is actually gone.  For example, it's not uncommon to pick up the phone when you have good news or need to vent. Before you even realize it, your numbers have dialed a number belonging to a person who's no longer here. You're left without an anchor. To whom do you turn for support? Where can you share your triumphs and tragedies? Who are you going to talk to when you need a shoulder?

Feeling the Emptiness

Best friends fulfill us in a way that other relationships can't. Anyone can be your best friend, even your spouse. The point is that once you've lost the friend who matters so much, you're left feeling empty and at odds. A light in the world has now gone out, living huge portions of your life dark and unfriendly. Because you typically turn to your best friend when you need comfort, getting through her or his death without that relationship is even more painful.

Developing Trust Issues

It's difficult to make new friends after losing anyone. You don't quite trust that you're not going to lose everyone in your life. This hits even harder when you lose your best friend. Forging new friendships is almost painful. You don't trust in your feelings, nor do you trust that your new friendships won't hurt you just as badly. It's a struggle because you know that you shouldn't be alone, yet you can't bring yourself to nurture or even approach the possibility of a new friendship.

You will get over this. You will make a new friend. However, you cannot rush this process. You've suffered an unimaginable loss, and it takes time to heal.