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Moving On Doesn't Mean Forgetting


Lifestyle Improvement

Posted On: Jun 14, 2017

Moving On Doesn't Mean Forgetting

No matter how much it hurts to grieve, those who are left behind often fear the idea of moving on with their lives. We do this not because we are masochists who crave emotional pain—the death of someone you love is too much to bear sometimes, it's not enjoyable in the slightest—but because we worry that moving on means that we'll forget what we lost. Once you pass through a day without thinking of your loved one, for example, it almost feels like you're losing her or him all over again. You can't stand the thought of forgetting what the decedent looked like, how she or he laughed, even the color of your loved one's eyes. That's not what moving on means, though. You won't forget someone so important to you just because you move forward and continue living your life.

Memories Live Forever

Nothing can steal your memories from you, at least not right at this moment. You can even make them permanent through various means—printing photos, keeping mementos, and putting together scrapbooks, just to name a few. Taking active steps to resume your life after bereavement will not erase your memories. In time, you will be able to bring them to the forefront of your mind and visit the most meaningful moments you shared with the departed. More importantly, you'll be able to do so without feeling a sharp stab of sadness. Grief will mellow into something soft, like nostalgia.

Your Loved One Would Never Want You to Stop Living

Think about the person you lost. Did she or he encourage you to live your best life? Consider something, then. Isn't a disservice to the memory of the decedent if you don't go on to find happiness and fulfillment? The person who died wanted what was best for you. That still stands even though she or he is no longer with you.

New Experiences Don't Erase Old Ones

Meeting someone new doesn't mean you don't have room for the memory of someone you lost. Making new memories doesn't mean that old ones will disappear from your mind. You don't have to be afraid to move on and get past your grief. You're not dishonoring your loved one, and no one will ever replace her or him.

Have you ever been afraid to move on and resume your life? What finally pushed you forward?