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The Devastation of Losing a Twin

Category: 

Bereavement Relief

Posted On: Mar 16, 2017

The Devastation of Losing a Twin

Losing a sibling is like losing a best friend and a piece of your history. Losing a twin feels the same way, except you're also losing a piece of yourself. Twins have a special relationship—that's not nonsense. Non-twins can't understand it, even if they have other brothers and sisters. The bond between twins runs deep. It's invisible to everyone else, but you and your twin feel it for the rest of your lives. It seems like you've lost a limb, part of your heart, your partner-in-crime. There are even twins who know the exact moment their siblings expire. It stands to reason that the grieving process is special for twins.

You Become a Twinless Twin

Following the loss of a twin, this is what the surviving sibling becomes known as a twinless twin. Even that phrase is devastating. It causes the reality of the situation to hit home like nothing else. Struggling to come to terms with the absence of your other half is a battle. One of the questions you may ask yourself is whether or not you're a twin if your sibling is no longer with you. Being designated as a twinless twin does not help that feeling, but as cruel as it is in its bluntness, it can help to put everything in perspective.

You Feel Alone in an Unimaginable Way

Many people feel alone after the passing of someone they love. The death of a twin, however, creates a more complete, unfathomable feeling of being alone. Where once you had a shadow, a co-conspirator, someone who understood you on a deep, biological level, now there is nothing. There is no one. You've lost the anchor of your best friend and confidante, one of the people closest to you in your life. It's no wonder your life feels out of balance.

There's a Loss of Connection

It's true that twins have a connection that goes far deeper than untwinned siblings can imagine. Not every set of twins will experience it, but enough of them do to lend credence to the idea. Following the death of your twin sibling, what happens to that connection? For some surviving siblings, it shuts down automatically. For others, they take comfort in the remaining strands of that connection. There's something there that allows them to feel the spirit of their lost twin.

It will probably help you to talk to someone. There are many survivors' groups dedicated to twinless twins. This is a better option than more general grief counseling because it's tailored to the unique pain you feel.