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You Can't Heal if You Don't Work for It


Lifestyle Improvement

Posted On: Jan 25, 2017

You Can't Heal if You Don't Work for It

Although grief is a natural, universal emotion felt by most people at one point or another, that doesn't mean it's easy. The process isn't smooth. It doesn't mean that you're guaranteed to get over it, either. Emotions don't work that way, not even natural ones. Sadness sucks you in and binds you up, especially when it goes deep. It can keep you shackled for far too long, as well. There is no time limit on grief and no one can or should try to speed up the process, skip it, or force themselves to get over it too quickly. That being said, you also can't give into it completely. You cannot stop living just because you're bereaved.

Healing Is Not a Passive Act

When you have a physical wound, your body works to heal itself, but you also have to rely on medicine and other types of therapy. If you break your arm, you have to wear a cast. If you cut yourself, you have to bandage the cut. You may even need stitches or a round of antibiotics. With an emotional wound, such as the grief you feel after a loss, your mind works to heal you, just like your body—but it, too, needs help. The passage of time goes a long way toward easing your heartache, but you have to work for it. You have to want it.

You Must Do Things You Don't Want to Do

It's hard to muster up the energy to continue living your life on its regular, everyday course after losing someone you love. The more tempting course of action is to stay in bed or on the couch, wrapped in blankets, keeping the curtains closed, the lights off, and your relatives and friends at bay. You cannot do that. The longer you do it, the longer you want to do it, and the easier it is to continue doing it. As you grieve and, more importantly, as you heal from your grief, you have to do things you don't necessarily want to do, such as get out of bed, take a shower, get dressed, and leave the house.

Left Unchecked, Grief Infiltrates Your Entire Life

Unless you work to feel better, the rest of your life will suffer, as well. Depression can affect your performance at school, your productivity at work, your platonic relationships, and your romantic ones, as well. As grief settles in, it makes you irritable and prone to anger, anxious, lethargic, and unmotivated, among other things. You don't want to feel that way for the rest of your life, do you?

You might need help getting past the worst stages of grieving. Don't feel any shame about that. Ask for help. Talk to someone. With the support of a friend, a family member, a spiritual guide, or a grief counselor, you can get through this.